Funny Quotes Abound in Wit and Wisdom

These Words Wrap Truth Inside Comedy

Senior women friends laughing on sofa
Laughter is good for the soul. Colin Hawkins/ Cultura/ Getty Images

This is a collection of quotes that are funny but also shed light on more than a little bit of the truth -- wit and wisdom in just a few words. Famous writers and philosophers often express life's irony wrapped up as comedy.  Humor helps to drive the point home. 

Lily Tomlin

"If you read a lot of books, you're considered well-read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well-viewed."

Erica Jong

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

Jack Handey

"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

Tom Lehrer

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"

Mark Twain

'Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

Burt Bacharach

"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of."

Evan Esar

"A signature always reveals a man's character -- and sometimes even his name."

Elbert Hubbard

"If you cannot answer a man's argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names."

Torvald Gahlin

"He who believes that the past cannot be changed has not yet written his memoirs."

Harvey Fierstein

"I guess a drag queen’s like an oil painting: You gotta stand back from it to get the full effect."

Erica Jong

"Jealousy is all the fun you think they had."

Tom Snyder

"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?"

Yogi Berra

"If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else!"

Lin Yutang

"Instead of holding on to the Biblical view that we are made in the image of God, we come to realize that we are made in the image of the monkey."

Kathleen Norris

"In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular."

Jim Morrison

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown, which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments."

Woody Allen

"Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television."

"I took a test in existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100."

Bertolt Brecht

"People are too durable, that's their main trouble. They can do too much to themselves, they last too long."

Satchel Paige

"Don’t look back, something might be gaining on you."

Bill Flavin

"In my day, we couldn’t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction."

Doug Larson

"If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."