The World's Funniest Dinosaur Jokes

dinosaur jokes
Looks like someone just heard a funny dinosaur joke!. Getty Images

The World's Best Dinosaur Jokes, Puns, and Riddles!

Q: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
A: Because they can't afford new ones!

Q: What does Triceratops sit on?
A: Its Tricera-bottom!

Q: What’s the best way to talk to a Velociraptor?
A: Long distance!

Q: Why did the T. Rex cross the road?
A1: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
A2: Because it was chasing a chicken.
A3: Because it was being chased by a chicken.


A4: Because it thought it was a chicken.

Q: How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?
A: "Tea, Rex?"

Q. What was 30 feet long, had a two-foot-long beak, and left crumbs all over the mattress?
A. Pretzelcoatlus!

Q: What do you call a blind Majungatholus?
A: Doyathinkhesaurus?

Q. What do you call a blind Majungatholus' dog?
A. Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex!

Q. How do you know there's a Seismosaurus under your bed?
A. Because your nose is two inches from the ceiling!

Q: What’s better than a talking Vulcanodon?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What's worse than a Giraffe with a sore throat?
A. A Tyrannosaurus Rex with a Giraffe in its throat!

Q. What do you call a Gigantoraptor that won't stop talking?
A. A dino-bore!

Dad: Why are you crying?
Son: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby sister.
Dad: That's no reason to cry.
Son: Yes, it is. No one would trade me!

Q. Why can't you hear a pterosaur using the bathroom?
A. Because the "p" is silent!

Person 1: I keep seeing Pteranodons with orange polka dots.
Person 2: Have you seen an eye doctor yet?
Person 1: No, just Pteranodons with orange polka dots!

Q: How can you tell there's an Allosaurus in your bed?
A: By the bright red "A" on its pajamas.

Q: How can you tell there's a Stegosaurus in your refrigerator?


A: The door won't close!

Q: What family does Shantungosaurus belong to?
A. I don't know. I don't think any family in our neighborhood owns one!

Child 1: Hey, who stepped on your foot?
Child 2: Well, did you see that Gorgosaurus over there?
Child 1: Yes.
Child 2: Well, I didn't!

Q: What has a prominent head crest, a duck-like bill, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Maiasaura on roller skates!

Q: Why did carnivorous dinosaurs eat raw meat?
A: Because they didn't know how to barbecue!

Q. How did the dinosaur stay dry in the rain?
A. He used a Parasololophus!

Q: What has sharp fangs and sticks to the roof of your mouth?
A. A peanut butter and Jeholopterus sandwich.

Q. What do you call a terrible, horrible, unpleasant dinosaur?
A. A Thesaurus.

Q. What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
A. Comet!

Q. Why did the Bambiraptor say "knock-knock?"
A. Because it was in the wrong joke.

Q: Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?
A: Because they never knew anything in the first place!

Q. What happened when the Brachiosaurus took the train home?
A. He had to bring it back!

Child 1: I lost my pet Iguanodon!
Child 2: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Child 1: What good would that do? He can't read!

Q: What's purple and green and won't stop singing?


A. Barney taking a shower!

Q. What do you say to a 10-ton Albertosaurus wearing earphones?
A. Whatever you want. He can't hear you!

Q. What did dinosaurs use to make their hot dogs?
A. Jurassic pork!

Q. Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A. Yes, one Gorgosaurus and nine Velociraptors!

Q. What dinosaur could jump higher than a house?
A. All of them. Houses can't jump!

Q. What should you do if you find a blue Dilophosaurus?
A. Try to cheer him up!