The World's Funniest Dinosaur Jokes

Why did the tyrannosaur crossed the road?

Dinosaur laughs. Unbridled joy.
Looks like someone just heard a funny dinosaur joke!.   Likozor/Getty Images

Dinosaurs have been the subjects of many serious movies, from "King Kong" in 1933 and its remakes, through animations such as "The Land Before Time" series, and on to later special-effects-laden extravaganzas including the "Jurassic Park/World" features. They are the focus of serious-minded research conducted in natural history museums and universities throughout the world.

But dinosaurs have long been the focus of humor, including a bevy of jokes at the expense of these long-gone beasts, which roamed the earth millions of years ago.

Here, then, is a crop of the funniest jokes involving the "terrible lizards," better known as dinosaurs:

Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
Because they can't afford new ones!

What does a triceratops sit on?
Its tricera-bottom!

Why did the tyrannosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
Because it was chasing a chicken.
Because it was being chased by a chicken.

What’s the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
Long distance!

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?
"Tea, Rex?"

What was 30 feet long, had a two-foot-long beak, and left crumbs all over the mattress?
Pretzelcoatlus!

Dad: Why are you crying?
Son: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby sister.
Dad: That's no reason to cry.
Son: Yes, it is. No one would trade me!

How do you know there's a seismosaurus under your bed?
Because your nose is two inches from the ceiling!

What’s better than a talking vulcanodon?
A spelling bee!

What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A tyrannosaur with a giraffe in its throat!

What do you call a gigantoraptor that won't stop talking?
A dino-bore!

Why can't you hear a pterosaur using the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent!

How can you tell there's an allosaurus in your bed?
By the bright red "A" on its pajamas.

Person 1: I keep seeing pteranodons with orange polka dots.
Person 2: Have you seen an eye doctor yet?
Person 1: No, just pteranodons with orange polka dots!

How can you tell there's a stegosaurus in your refrigerator?
The door won't close!

What family does shantungosaurus belong to?
I don't know. I don't think any family in our neighborhood owns one!

What has a prominent head crest, a duck-like bill, and 16 wheels?
A Maiasaura on roller skates!

Why did carnivorous dinosaurs eat raw meat?
Because they didn't know how to barbecue!

What has sharp fangs and sticks to the roof of your mouth?
A peanut butter and jeholopterus sandwich.

Child 1: Hey, who stepped on your foot?
Child 2: Well, did you see that gorgosaurus over there?
Child 1: Yes.
Child 2: Well, I didn't!

What do you call a terrible, horrible, unpleasant dinosaur?
A thesaurus.

What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
Comet!

Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?
Because they never knew anything in the first place!

What happened when the brachiosaurus took the train home?
He had to bring it back!

What's purple and green and won't stop singing?
Barney taking a shower!

What do you say to a 10-ton Albertosaurus wearing earphones?
Whatever you want. He can't hear you!

Child 1: I lost my pet iguanodon!
Child 2: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Child 1: What good would that do? He can't read!

What did dinosaurs use to make their hot dogs?
Jurassic pork!

Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
Yes, one gorgosaurus and nine velociraptors!

What dinosaur could jump higher than a house?
All of them. Houses can't jump!

What should you do if you find a blue dilophosaurus?
Try to cheer him up!