The World's Funniest Dinosaur Jokes

Here you'll learn why the tyrannosaur crossed the road

Dinosaur laughs. Unbridled joy.
Looks like someone just heard a funny dinosaur joke!.   Likozor/Getty Images

Here are the best jokes involving "terrible lizards," better known as dinosaurs:

Q: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?
A: Because they can't afford new ones!

Q: What does a triceratops sit on?
A: Its tricera-bottom!

Q: What’s the best way to talk to a velociraptor?
A: Long distance!

Q: Why did the tyrannosaur cross the road?
A1: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.
A2: Because it was chasing a chicken
A3: Because it was being chased by a chicken.

Q: How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

A: "Tea, Rex?"

Q. What was 30 feet long, had a two-foot-long beak, and left crumbs all over the mattress?
A. Pretzelcoatlus!

Q: What do you call a blind Majungasaurus?
A: Doyathinkhesaurus?

Q. What do you call a blind Majungasaurus' dog?
A. Doyouthinkhesaurus Rex!

Q. How do you know there's a seismosaurus under your bed?
A. Because your nose is two inches from the ceiling!

Q: What’s better than a talking vulcanodon?
A. A spelling bee!

Q. What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A. A tyrannosaur with a giraffe in its throat!

Q. What do you call a gigantoraptor that won't stop talking?
A. A dino-bore!

Dad: Why are you crying?
Son: Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby sister.
Dad: That's no reason to cry.
Son: Yes, it is. No one would trade me!

Q. Why can't you hear a pterosaur using the bathroom?
A. Because the "p" is silent!
Person 1: I keep seeing Pteranodons with orange polka dots.


Person 2: Have you seen an eye doctor yet?
Person 1: No, just Pteranodons with orange polka dots!

Q: How can you tell there's an allosaurus in your bed?
A: By the bright red "A" on its pajamas.

Q: How can you tell there's a stegosaurus in your refrigerator?
A: The door won't close!

Q: What family does shantungosaurus belong to?

A. I don't know. I don't think any family in our neighborhood owns one!

Child 1: Hey, who stepped on your foot?
Child 2: Well, did you see that gorgosaurus over there?
Child 1: Yes.
Child 2: Well, I didn't!

Q: What has a prominent head crest, a duck-like bill, and 16 wheels?
A: A Maiasaura on roller skates!

Q: Why did carnivorous dinosaurs eat raw meat?
A: Because they didn't know how to barbecue!

Q: What has sharp fangs and sticks to the roof of your mouth?

A. A peanut butter and jeholopterus sandwich.

Q. What do you call a terrible, horrible, unpleasant dinosaur?

A. A thesaurus.

Q. What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
A. Comet!

Q: Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?

A: Because they never knew anything in the first place!

Q. What happened when the brachiosaurus took the train home?
A. He had to bring it back!

Child 1: I lost my pet iguanodon!
Child 2: Why don't you put an ad in the paper?
Child 1: What good would that do? He can't read!

Q: What's purple and green and won't stop singing?
A. Barney taking a shower!

Q. What do you say to a 10-ton Albertosaurus wearing earphones?
A. Whatever you want. He can't hear you!

Q. What did dinosaurs use to make their hot dogs?
A. Jurassic pork!

Q. Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?


A. Yes, one gorgosaurus and nine velociraptors!

Q. What dinosaur could jump higher than a house?
A. All of them. Houses can't jump!

Q. What should you do if you find a blue dilophosaurus?
A. Try to cheer him up!

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Strauss, Bob. "The World's Funniest Dinosaur Jokes." ThoughtCo, May. 7, 2018, thoughtco.com/worlds-funniest-dinosaur-jokes-1092386. Strauss, Bob. (2018, May 7). The World's Funniest Dinosaur Jokes. Retrieved from https://www.thoughtco.com/worlds-funniest-dinosaur-jokes-1092386 Strauss, Bob. "The World's Funniest Dinosaur Jokes." ThoughtCo. https://www.thoughtco.com/worlds-funniest-dinosaur-jokes-1092386 (accessed May 22, 2018).